Pool Party

I overheard one side of a phone conversation about 25 years ago that has always stuck in my mind. I was working a drudge job typing purchase orders during college at a company where a very flamboyantly gay man was the vice president of something. I worked out of a cubicle across from him although my job had nothing to do with whatever he did. He pretty much ignored me the entire time I was there.

He had a rather loud voice. One day when only he and I were in the office during lunch, he was talking to some friend on the phone. He lowered his voice a bit at one part of the conversation, but he was still easy for me to hear.

The crux of the conversation was this: he and someone else went to look at a house for sale with some lady real estate agent. When they walked in the back yard, three naked men were fucking by the pool. Shocked, the real estate agent and her clients left immediately. They had no idea who the three men were because the house was unoccupied.

Lose the real estate agent and replace the flamboyant man with an ordinary bloke who's a real estate agent -- and perhaps a little confused about his sexuality -- checking out a property he thought was unoccupied. But when he walks out alone into the pool area, he sees other people already there -- three men fucking. One spots him and waves. What does our hero do? What happens next? It could be the start of an interesting independent film.

Needless to say, I've never walked out to my pool and discovered anyone fucking. The only thing out of the ordinary are very occasional ducks that stop by for a swim, a la Tony Soprano. I think they're the progeny of someone's pets or dinner that escaped long ago.