You suddenly see a half-naked man shaving in front of your sink. You have no idea how he got there. You went to bed sober the night before and came home alone.
He doesn't look at all familiar to you, given the fleeting glimpses of his face you see in the mirror. You have no idea even whether he's gay or straight.
What would you do?
Place one hand very firmly on one of those delightful cheeks and say "hi..."
ReplyDeleteYou stop and stare, till you're comfortable that he's not there for anything bad. Then when he turns around and notices you, keep staring, if he's your neighbor that just let himself in because he got locked out, offer him coffee. If he looks at you with lust, then check your private parts for recent sexual activity, if so, then grab your gun and detain him till the police show up. (I'm from the south, if you don't have at least three guns around your house, then your socialist commie and deserve what you get.)
ReplyDeleteI'd ask my wife if she knows him.
ReplyDeleteI would say "Thank you God" and ask the questions later! ;)
ReplyDeleteDo you know what is better than finding a half-naked man in your bathroom? Finding a completely naked man in your bathroom.
ReplyDeleteDo you know what is better than finding a completely naked man in your bathroom? Finding two completely naked men in your bathroom?
Do you know what is better....? I could go on but I'm getting light headed just thinking about it.
Leo G.
F--k the familiarities, I am going to spread those cheeks and have my breakfast:):)
ReplyDelete