21 June 2010

The Prisoner

Several years ago I went to a courthouse in Los Angeles to testify as a witness in a civil trial. I parked on the street and, on my way into the building, passed the entrance where prisoners were brought in for trial. I stopped like I was making a call on my cell so I could discretely check out a particularly hot deputy near the entrance.

A plain, heavy van happened to pull up and several deputies began unloading a single prisoner. I never found out who he was, but given his solo treatment and the number of deputies with him, he must have be charged with something serious. The suspect was wearing a baggy prison jumpsuit, but that couldn't hide his ripped physique nor his handsome, intelligent face. I also distinctly remember he wore glasses and had the well groomed face of an educated, privileged man.

I was fascinated watching the interaction between the muscle-bound defendant constrained by handcuffs and shackles and the surprisingly tender (and nicely muscular) deputies who gently extracted him from the van, up the ramp, and to the door. Some of them spoke softly to him in what seemed to be kind words, and the prisoner shared a laugh with the deputies about something that was said. The progression was quite slow due to his shackles.

When he was at the top of the ramp, the suspect turned to look out toward the street, perhaps savoring a rare glimpse of the outside world. For a few seconds we made eye contact and then he nodded slightly and smiled at me while he was led through the door. I never found out anything more about him. He could've seduced and murdered gay men for all I knew.

I saw this picture below and thought again of that snapshot moment from my past. The contrast between strength and helplessness is very erotic to me. A strong man who is willing to surrender in the bedroom out of trust (and lust) is a rare and valued lover.

I've always thought an interesting movie could be made with a Mrs. Soffel-like story about a hot, rugged prisoner and a sexually confused (but nonetheless hot and masculine) guard who falls in love with him. The guard eventually frees the prisoner he loves, and the jeopardy would revolve around whether he was just being used as a pawn. I think if it was set in an earlier decade, the story could be more poignant. (It would also make a jailbreak easier.)


  1. I LOVE reading about these type of connections that get made...

  2. thanks dude! I added to my list!

  3. Beautiful story, gorgeous post. Thank you.

  4. A touching anecdote, winningly told. Ca$h's response reads as cynical... only to be expected when the easily-embarassed encounter a man like yourself who is willing to speak from his heart. And as you clearly have a gift for writing, why not develop that story into a longer narrative or script?
    Oh, and the photo is gorgeous. Thanks.

  5. your gaze upon him was the gaze upon criminal beauty and masculine energy and desire written about by Jean Genet - a haunting eros - really like your blog

  6. Anonymous15:25

    Very well said and hopefully understood- it is what we deeply desire - the absolute masculine male - to match our feminine like desires- to have a man that will care for us - somewhat akin to a father - but also one that could crush our windpipe if we dared speak of our desire - it is what we chase all our lives- some find this - others search endlessly - some meet a compromise - but only the genuine article will do


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